Community Wesleyan Church Newark
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what is Vulnerability?
when we think of 'vulnerability', we could go one of two places.  we might go to the emotional places that speak of sharing and listening and issues that are deep or sensitive.  however, we could also go to the battlefield.  in those places, vulnerabilities are the times or locations where we are likely to be attacked.  if there is a gap in security cameras, its a vulnerability.  if there's a missing guard in that tower, there's a vulnerability.  in that way, vulnerability requires a threat.  if we aren't under threat, we don't have a vulnerability.  vulnerability requires threat.

we have to pay attention to vulnerability in our small groups, not only through ones willingness to share but through perceived threat.  let's assume that everyone wants to share.  if someone doesn't want to share, it's because they have identified a threat which is a "vulnerability".

here's the key concept: as a small group leader, you are not only encouraging vulnerability, you are also reducing threats.  to encourage vulnerability is to prod the group to face the threats.  we know there are threats, but lets enter the vulnerability anyway.  as this happens, the group may begin to grow in their confidence against those threats and eventually conquer them.

common threats that create vulnerability are: fear of rejection, anxiety, speaking in front of others, discouragement, lack of trust, shame and guilt.  some of these threats can be attacked directly like fear of speaking in front of others or lack of trust.  there are other fears like shame and guilt which are more complicated and require attentiveness (probably beyond just a small group setting).

when vulnerability grows in the face of shrinking threats, relationships begin to heal us.  through our vulnerability we can grow in trust, dependance, empathy and a long list of admirable traits.
A group without vulnerability
How do I know if my group lacks VULNERABILITY?
  • the threats are obvious and uncontrolled
  • spoken words are shallow and safe
  • group members who share are left on an island
  • Everybody holds the appearance of strength
leading in vulnerability
VULNERABILITY does not grow on accident.  if your small group struggles in this area, a plan is needed.  While the four training areas will be helpful in the long run, here are some quick ideas:
  • make a note to share one vulnerability
  • be sure to thank anyone who shares vulnerably
  • identify the threats to vulnerability and strategize against them
  • be attentive to posturing and lower the bar
Other characteristics of intimacy relationships

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​161 Myrtle Ave, Newark, OH 43055
​740.366.4220
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