Community Wesleyan Church Newark
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what is CONFIDENTIALITY?
honest relationships enjoy confidentiality.  The root word is the latin "fide" from which we get our word "faith".  to confide is to put "faith in".  when a relationship is honest, we can put faith in it because we can trust it.  confidentiality occurs over time as trust is tested and proven.  we need time to be able to see confidentiality work before we will be able to lean into it.

Confidentiality is the gateway to many other healthy relationship characteristics.  once we have a trusted confidant, we can enjoy vulnerability, risk and a host of other healthy dynamics.  if confidentiality is broken or fails to develop, a healthy relationship will be difficult or impossible to develop until confidence is restored.

It's not the same as secrecy.  When someone says, "please keep this confidential", it may sound like a secret but there is an important distinction.  to put it simply: Confidentiality is a healthy privacy while secrecy is an unhealthy privacy.  When we keep something in confidence, we establish good faith, trust, assurance and safety.  When we keep something secret, we spread fear, anxiety, mistrust, gossip and dysfunction.  be careful not to mistake the difference between secrecy and confidentiality in your relationships or you risk damaging relationships in the name of privacy.
A group without confidentiality
How do I know if my group lacks confidentiality?
  • conversations tend to remain surface and safe
  • its not uncommon to hear "private" information outside the group
  • frequent references to "secrecy" (indicates harmful privacy)
  • confidants create their own subgroup
leading in confidentiality
confidentiality does not grow on accident.  if your small group struggles in this area, a plan is needed.  While the four training areas will be helpful in the long run, here are some quick ideas:
  • respond firmly (with grace) to breaks in confidentiality
  • privately ask "do you feel safe here?  why or why not?"
  • address confidentiality head-on with the group and state expectations
  • ​offer private information of your own in good faith
Other characteristics of honest relationships

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​161 Myrtle Ave, Newark, OH 43055
​740.366.4220
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  • About
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  • Ministries
    • Groups
    • Family
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